Army Tales: 'HEERES JOHNNY'Tales told by my Father.At the base, every morning the soldiers were required to fall into formation for role call. On this particular morning, everyone showed up, except for two men. The Sergeant, a pretty nice guy as long as you did as you were told, walked inside the barracks, and knocked on the soldier's door. He calmly reminded them that they need to get out for role. The two men inside said something along the lines of "F*ck off", locked the door, and turned their music up louder. The Sergeant stared at the door for a second then said to his aid,"Get me an ax."The aid did so, and the Sergeant promptly began hacking down the door. Even down on the parade ground, the other soldiers could hear the hacking, and the terrified screams of the soldiers inside. Soon, they heard a new sound. The Sergeant was beating them with their own rifles, and the soldiers were soon in formation, sniffling and bruised.
Army TalesTales told by my father.My dad and his partner were told that, for an exercise, they needed to stop an armored column from crossing a shallow part of a river. They thought for a while, then this thought occurred."Hey, we've got a 55 gallon drum full of powdered tear gas. How about we use that?"The plan was simple. Pour the tear gas into the dirt road leading to the river bank. when the vehicles in the front drove through, they would kick up the tear gas for the vehicles behind them. The poor guys following would be in no shape to move on for a while, thus accomplishing my father's mission. They did just that, then retreated to a hill on the opposite side of the river, and watched with binoculars.They soon saw a vehicle approaching, but it was still several hours before the convoy should arrive. When they got a good look at the vehicle, they realized it was their commander and his driver, in a jeep with no top.With a sense of dread they watched as the jeep drove for a little while,